By Gurudevi Nirmalananda

I opened the door one Halloween evening to find a family in costume, three children with their mom and dad. His T-Rex costume towered over them all, an inflatable wonder that made me laugh out loud. Later in the winter, he wore it while steering his mini-snowplow. Yet I never thought he was actually a dinosaur. I knew it was a costume. So did he.

In the same way, Shiva is being you, wearing the costume of your body while using your mind to move through the world. When you know who you are, all your insecurities vanish. You are being your own Self, in the midst of life, oh Shiva.

In full enlightenment, you are being Shiva while you are seeing Shiva being all. Self-Realization is a totality of Beingness, beyond the emptiness of nirvana, beyond the Divine love described in most religions and beyond the bliss of Consciousness described by yoga.

Nirvana is only partial enlightenment per the sage Abhinavagupta. While you are freed from suffering, this is merely a mental attainment. You have not found the one who has a mind. Nirvana means emptiness. There is no real physical or material existence. This is also called “no self.” While you are free from desire, aversion and delusion, you are stuck in emptiness, which yogis call “the void” (shunya).

The void is merely Shiva’s black cloak, hiding his fullness in an illusion of emptiness. When you experience the void (and how great that is!), consider who is experiencing the void. You will find your own Self. Shiva is revealed within you, being you.

Another path to partial enlightenment is…

You have the power to realize that God lies hidden in your own heart. Too much of the time, when you come from your heart, you’re coming from your emotional residue, your unfinished business. Your heart carries the weight of lifetimes – resentments and fears, unhappy memories and…

— Gurudevi Nirmalananda

From Gurudevi’s full discourse “What is Heaven?“

By Gurudevi Nirmalananda

Your inner light shines, though sometimes dimly. You like yourself better when your light is shining steadily and brightly. So does everyone else. So, how do you get there?

You spend time with someone who already glows. My Guru said that you become a Siddha (enlightened being) by spending enough time with a Siddha. I took him at his word, which is why I lived with him for years.

Guru Purnima was the best! Every year, July’s full moon was when his light shone most fully. We were bathed in his bliss-filled love, shining from outside and arising within.  

I remember going to darshan, to bow to him, on this auspicious day, year after year. So many times I had this precious opportunity, to melt at his feet.

The melting is important, yet it is merely the opening of your inner doorway. After the door is opened, now the inner arising occurs. This is what is truly important. The Guru is the one that triggers the inner arising. This is why I bow to my Baba. Again and again, I bow.

Your inner light is what matters most of all. This is why the Guru is so important, for he gives you access to your own inner light.

Without this inner access, you wait for serendipitous moments to occur in your life. You plan family gatherings, vacations, holidays and birthdays, hoping to have your light brightened. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it’s more work than it’s worth.

But the Guru always shines. And always makes you shine.

Gukaaras tvandha-kaara”s ca rukaaras teja ucyate,

aj~naana-graasaka.m brahma gurur-eva na sa.m”saya.h.

— Shree Guru Gita 23

Gu is darkness and density. Ru is light, which illumines dark.

The Guru is the Knowingness that swallows the not-knowingness

In Sanskrit, each sound has meaning. The first syllable of Guru is “gu” (goo), which means the stuff you get stuck in. It is the inner darkness that hides your own Self from you. The syllable “ru” denotes movement, like the sound a child makes when playing with a toy truck.

The word Guru combines these two sounds. The word itself names the movement from darkness to light. One who prompts this in you is honored by the title, Guru. They destroy the darkness of you not-knowing your own Self, by revealing the inner light of your own Beingness.

Now you shine. Technically, you did already shine, at least a little bit. Science has now developed instruments that can measure the light shining off your fingertips. And light shines through your eyes.

In your best moments, you are radiant. You can feel it. I would like for you to glow this way in every moment of your life. So would you.

Yoga also describes how you usually use your mind, as well as a greater possibility.  But yoga is the only one of all these traditions, that I have found, that says your Essence is Divine.  How will you know if this is true?  You will have to delve deeper within to see who you find in there, oh Shiva.  You may go beyond who you think you are. This is why we meditate. 

— Gurudevi Nirmalananda

From Gurudevi’s full discourse “Ideals to Live By“

By Elena (Lila) Perri

I felt a profound shift as the blockage to my sadhana melted into nothingness.

It happened in Gurudevi’s recent Shaktipat Retreat. I have been meditating every day since, more deeply and with ease and delight.

At the same time, my Ujjay breathing and pose practices have become far more regular as well. Since the beginning of the year, I’ve also taken many of the Ashram’s online studies, which have deepened my meditations even more.

This morning’s meditation delivered another breakthrough. Breathing with the mantra, I was propelled into a deeper state of blissful union. As I floated in this inner realm, I had the realization that I can enjoy this same blissful union while not meditating — as Gurudevi teaches us. As everything is Shiva, it follows that bliss is always there outside of meditation just as I was experiencing it in this meditation. Goodness!

To meditate — what a profound experience! I have experienced gradual progress since my first Shaktipat Retreat with Gurudevi four years ago. Now, staying in my meditative state longer and longer every day, I am calm and peaceful. More and more, I feel that I’m living a heart-centered life.

I’ve experientially learned the truth of the teaching that, as Kundalini climbs my spine, she burns up karmic seeds. She clears out blockages. Old attitudes and resentments melt away.

Since my meditation breakthrough, emotions and distractions don’t control me. I am more easily navigating life. I’m living in my own skin and making decisions from my center.

The practices that I’ve learned from Gurudevi are the best endeavor of my life. They guide you in what to do if you want liberation. Old behaviors simply fall away. My gratitude is boundless and endless. 

The sage says:

Tadah drastuh svaroope vastanam — Yoga Sutras 1.3

In the moment your mind becomes still, you abide in svaroopa, your own Divine Essence.

Here you are, revealed in the space between your thoughts. This means your thoughts are usually hiding you from yourself. This is why all the yoga practices are for your mind, to quiet your mind, so you discover who you are. The you that is svaroopa, your own Divine Essence, aka Shiva. In the pause.

— Gurudevi Nirmalananda

From Gurudevi’s full discourse “The Space Between“