By Andrea (Arya) Perry

Interviewed by Lori (Priya) Kenney  

Feelings of uneasiness and self-consciousness arise when I sing.  I am hesitant and resistant to sing.  

Consequently, chanting is tapas (doing the hard stuff).  Cultivating the opposite and tapas helps me dissolve these self-limiting patterns and deepen into Self.  Also chanting is a good way to open your heart.  By opening your heart, you open and transform your mind.  For these reasons, I registered for Gurudevi’s online Chanting and Meditation Weekend two years ago.

It stems back to when I was a child.  I loved singing camp songs.  In sixth grade, I decided to try out for chorus.  The teacher’s “put-down” responses to my singing translated into feelings of rejection, inadequacies, unacceptance and isolation.  They squashed ME.

Being self-conscious of singing is an old pattern.  Because I now know I am Self, Consciousness-Itself, no matter what, this pattern no longer defines who I am.  It needs to be dissolved.  And it is progressively dissolving over time through Gurudevi’s yogic teachings, practices and Grace.

The theme of our Chanting and Meditation Weekend retreat was Durga.  I wasn’t familiar with her.  I learned that Durga embodies the strength and power that destroy obstacles and block knowingness.  She’s the protector of knowingness.  

We chanted “Kali Durge” over and over again.  We listened to stories about Durga, and we meditated.  The interweaving of chanting, storytelling and meditation gave rise to the qualities of Durga within me. 

By the end of the retreat, I was Durga.  I was the warrior Durga that overcomes and is victorious over all obstacles to unknowingness.