By Sheralee (Shambhavi) Hancherow

Interviewed by Marlene (Matrikaa) Gast, Yogaratna

Last year was filled with a lot of emotional tapas along with incredible support. People don’t understand how much support is available from our Ashram. 

I discovered that to undertake a healing process, I just had to stop and allow Guru’s Grace to work on different levels.

During the 2023 winter holidays, I overdid it. I pushed myself non-stop through the season. By January 2024, I flatlined emotionally. I wasn’t feeling much of anything and certainly not joy or bliss. In response, I chose “Feel” as my word for the year. I went into overdrive to try and fix myself by doing more yoga, vichara, workshops, etc. 

 In March, I saw an email about Gurudevi’s Office Hours. They are available to yogis who have a Shishya Membership. Fortunately, I’d been a Shishya for a decade. So I signed up for a phone call. I have always handled struggles on my own and was nervous in front of our Guru. Yet I knew she would help me.

Surprisingly, the help she gave me was not what I expected. But it was exactly what I needed: a mantra yoga buddy. 

In April, I took the Healing Retreat. Being in the online option, I could experience the practices and profound changes in my own home in Canada. After that, one of our Swamis followed up and provided more support by Zoom.

The Ashram then arranged for a yogi in our community to call me every week to check on my progress.  We discussed the asana and meditation practices I was doing daily to support my process. Then the yogi reported back to Gurudevi. Over the summer, I continued to work on this heavy karma and took Gurudevi’s advice to see a counsellor. Learning about the patterns that limit me opened me up to a whole new level of Grace.

During this time of releasing so much “stuff,” my word-of-the-year — Feel — was paramount. I was on an emotional rollercoaster. Vichara (guided self-inquiry sessions) with my local Svaroopa^® teacher, who is also a Vichara Therapist, provided profound learning. When she was out of town, I contacted our Ashram Enrollment Advisor and scheduled vichara with a Swami. Through these sessions, I was learning about myself. Though it was not always a joyful process, I persisted. 

At the same time, I found a local Ayurveda physician. I’d been seeking one for a long time, and suddenly I found her. Her diagnosis included the observation that she did not see joy bubbling up within me.

Yet now joy is doing just that. Cooking my breakfast this morning, I was dancing and singing in the kitchen while listening to my yoga music.

Yes, I’ve done a lot. I’ve learned it’s not about fixing myself but opening to the Grace that is always there. The support that comes from our Guru is profoundly deeper than I thought possible.

I have learned to tap into that Grace. It is transformational and illuminating, and I am forever grateful to my Guru, the Swamis and my yoga community.