A Complete and Utter Knowing

By Joanne (Jayeshwari) Kirk 

Interviewed by Lori (Priya) Kenney  

My Shaktipat experience was beyond my mind.  What I got was a complete and utter knowing of the Self.  I don’t have any doubts anymore about the Self being there.  It’s not that I’m in the Self all the time.  But I know that the Self and the flow of Grace are always there.  

I am more grounded and clear-headed because I’m coming from Self more than I was before.  It was happening before, but I didn’t recognize it.  I didn’t see it.  Now basing myself in the Self comes easier, and I recognize it when I’m there.   

This makes me feel younger.  I can see the limitations I put on myself, but they’re not as tight.  I feel more open to changes and different ways of seeing things.  My reactions don’t seem as important as they did before, so they go away sooner.  And I’m not as hard on myself when I catch myself reacting.  I have faith that I will have less and less reactivity by being on this path. 

I made a decision before this Shaktipat retreat to stay open to whatever happened.  I see now that expecting certain results is a way of putting up fences.  It blocks the Grace.  This big part of my personality is slowly melting away.  It doesn’t have to be there anymore.  I’m not fussing as much about what’s going to happen.  I’m not living in the future as much.  I know it’s all going to work out.  

I feel so much closer to Gurudevi since Shaktipat.  I feel the river of the Guru’s Grace.  I feel part of it.  I don’t have to analyze it to know it is all That.  I feel the Guru in me.  I feel the lineage and Grace more than I did before.  It’s beyond the mind, but the feeling is there and it’s real.

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