By Todd Correa

Interviewed by Lissa (Yogyananda) Fountain, Yogaratna

I signed up for the New Year’s Shaktipat Retreat to explore my humanness and understand myself better. I wanted to feel more connected to the cosmic Consciousness of the universe. I did not know what Shaktipat was, but I trusted the recommendation of my local Svaroopa^® Vidya Meditation and sutras teacher.

I had enjoyed my local teacher’s three-part Learn to Meditate course. I recognized I could go deeper — something was happening inside. I even joined the Ashram’s Meditation Club. Without realizing it, I was preparing myself for my first Shaktipat experience.

Being brand new to an Ashram retreat, I was surprised by so much chanting and meditation. I was amazed I could sit for such long periods of time. I loved it!

When Gurudevi walked into the room, I felt there was something special about her. She looked at me and “saw me.” I felt accepted, as if I belonged there. She knew who I was and am: Shiva.

Sometimes it felt a bit overwhelming, with my senses bursting open. I felt like a deer caught in headlights! Yet I wanted this new experience to feel like mine, fully authentic. I accepted it, as it unfolded.

It was weird, but I embraced it. I wrote in my journal: “My whole being is opening up, in a burst of life. My head is opening up like a flower. I feel intense emotions, while being bathed in bliss.”

My first initiation by Gurudevi’s touch, my whole body went into hers, opening up to receive her Grace. I did not want this feeling of Oneness to stop. Afterward, I felt exhausted, my body depleted. I did not know how to put my experience in perspective. However, the retreat talks helped me understand what was going on. So I did some restorative Ujjayi breathing during our breaks.

When Gurudevi gave us Shaktipat by will, I was still right there, having an amazing experience. I wondered: “How does she do that from way over there?” Yet I knew in my core that it was real. Something beautiful and amazing had happened, and I am so grateful.

Before, I understood the theory of “One-ness.” But now I have experienced it because I was with a Self-Realized Being. I feel more empathy and the ability to be present to my therapy clients and students. I can go deeper within myself and assist others to go deeper as well. My work is my calling, so I am going to do Shaktipat again!