By Gurudevi Nirmalananda 

When I became a swami, I was surprised to feel a startlingly powerful impulse arising within — I wanted to feed people. Having been kitchen-averse for decades, it was a shock to me that I actually enjoyed cooking for others. I soon realized it’s because of the sutra:

J~naanam annam — Shiva Sutras 2.9 / True knowledge is food.

It means that a seeker hungers to know the Truth of their own Beingness. One who knows and shares that knowing is truly feeding you. Pure knowledge is the only real nourishment, that which gives satisfaction.

I remember giving a discourse on sutras where one yogini cried all the way through. She never sobbed, but tears ran down her face the whole time, more than an hour. I paused a couple of times to check in with her, but she waved me off.  When finished, I asked her, “What are the tears?” She answered, “I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life to hear these words. I feel fed for the first time in my life.”

This is truly what I want to give, that which nourishes you at a level that mere foodstuffs cannot reach. But when you allow me to give you a meal or snack, I pump it full of Divine energy so it feeds you on both the physical and subtle levels. 

I live a dedicated life. A consecrated life. This is a sacred way of living, where every breath is holy. Every thought comes from God and is put into words or actions that serve God. That’s what a swami strives for, to be a light unto the world. That’s what everyone wants, even if they don’t yet admit it to themselves.  That’s why we love the children’s song, “This Little Light of Mine.”

The first step is to find your own light. Then you can shine into the world. Ah, but there’s a catch here…

By Swami Nirmalananda 

The yoga of laughter is a pranayama, a breathing technique.  It works because it gets your breath moving, aerating deeply into your lungs as you get your laugh going.  Everyone thinks they feel better because they mimicked being happy, but it really works because you’re breathing deeply.  Better yet, your breath emphasizes the pause after each exhale breath.

This practice works best in a group.  In the beginning, you force a laugh, maybe a “ha-ha” or a little titter.  Then you do it again.  Hearing others also make these somewhat phony laughs, it’s so silly that it actually makes you want to laugh.  Soon your laugh is not forced.

The yogic science of breath is so profound!  Your stairstep exhalation has a delightful effect on your mind, for each time your breath stops, your mind stops.  This is the real secret to pranayama – using the quiet spaces in between breaths to quiet your mind.

Tasmin sati “svaasa-pra”svaasayor gati-viccheda.h praa.naayaama.h. 

– Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras 2.49

By sitting in stillness, pranayama naturally follows, which is the cessation of breath movement.

This tells the secret of using breath to master your mind – that your mind becomes still because you’re sitting quietly and your breath settles.  This happens naturally when you’re sitting in your garden or, for me, watching the ocean.  I love to sit and watch the waves.  

The wave forms from underneath, the water pushing upward from the ocean floor.  The wave crests and then tips over and crashes down.  It’s mesmerizing for your mind.

Then you see the wave wash up the sandy shore.  At the top, it stops.  It becomes motionless for a moment. That’s the best!  The moment of stillness, an moment of eternity. Then the wave glides back down the slope to merge into the sea again.  

Your breath does the same thing. You don’t have to force it because it happens with every breath, whether you’re paying attention or not.  Your breath comes in and then, for a brief moment, it stops in an internal pause.  Then your breath goes out and again pauses briefly.  The inner pause is called antara kumbhaka; the outer is bahya kumbhaka.  These pauses are already there.  They are happening right now.

When you sit for a while, your body eases into stillness.  So does your breath.  Your natural pause naturally lengthens.  Your mind now settles into stillness.  In meditation, it happens too —  usually easier and for longer pauses.

When your body needs breath, it moves another breath spontaneously.  And your mind starts up again.  Yogis do pranayama, breathing practices so they can build up pranic reserves to make it easy to linger in the pause longer.  It is an entry point into the blissful Beingness that is hidden in the deeper dimensions of your own being.

Once you dive deeper within, your breath can move without disturbing your mind.  This is how your meditation can lengthen.  This is how a Meditation Master lives, based in the deeper dimensionality within, even while they use their mind to participate in the world.

So when you do yoga laughter, you’re getting little bits of this.  With each “ha,” your breath stops momentarily, giving you a glimpse of the doorway inside.  Then you “ha” again.  Lots of little peeks add up to a sense of what is hidden within.  It’s like watching a train go by, you can see what’s on the other side in the little peeks between the moving cars.  And when the train is gone, you can really see what’s there.

With yoga laughter, you get happy.  You’re happy because you got a glimpse of the deeper dimensions of your own being.  With pranayama and meditation, you get to enter into those deeper dimensions.  It is mystical, not merely happy. 

By Gurudevi Nirmalananda

I loved this song when I was growing up, for I wanted to fly. I wanted to fly free, like the bluebirds in the song:

If happy little bluebirds fly

Beyond the rainbow

Why, oh, why can’t I?

My multiple attempts to get beyond the rainbow led me to living with a Guru in India.  It worked out really well, for he gave me yogic freedom.  It is freedom without escapism. It is both “freedom from” and “freedom to.”

“Freedom from” is freedom from pain, freedom from fear and freedom from the self-doubt that paralyzes you.  “Freedom to” is the freedom to love, to create and to give with generosity.  This yogic freedom comes from its inner source, described powerfully in a yogic text: 

Caitanyam-aatmaa — Shiva Sutras 1.1

Your own Self is Consciousness-Itself, 

imbued with freedom of knowledge and action. 

When you describe yourself by age and gender, by profession or relationship status – you’re describing what you do, not who you are.  These change, but you are still you.  Your size and shape, along with the color of your hair or skin are simply physical characteristics.  Your body changes over time, while your essence remains unchanged.

Peggy came to me in her 80s, wanting yoga therapy to make her able to walk freely again. She didn’t like using her cane.  It took about 5 sessions for her to throw away her cane.  Then she confessed she wanted more.  She didn’t want merely to walk.  She wanted to dance, to sprint and to turn cartwheels like she did as a kid.

She looked straight at me with her startling blue eyes and said, “Inside, I’m still 5 years old.”  It was true.  I could see the timelessness of her innermost being shining from inside.  It was just her body that was old, not her being.

Your being is that same Beingness that she showed me. My being is that same Beingness as well, for there is only One Beingness.  That One is being all, including you and including me.  When you feel your own essence, your own Beingness filling you from within, you know something that you always wanted to know.  You know your own Self.  And once you have your own Self, you are free.

In such freedom, nothing and no one can bind you. You can stay or go, it’s simply a choice.  Most peoples’ choices are made out of fear or clinging, trying to avoid something or trying to get something.  Without fear or clinging, how do you choose?

Your choice comes from freedom that is imbued with knowledge and action.  I call it intelligence, that you can use your mind to assess the probable outcomes of different options, then choose one wisely.  You can even choose to do nothing.  Yet your own deep sense of Self arises within, bring creative options as well as the sheer joy of sharing, moving you into giving generously.

One who knows Self is one who cares and shares. This type of enlightenment is engaged, contributing to the world, but from a place of Knowingness and Beingness. Best of all is the bliss…

By Fred Hess 

Interviewed by Marlene (Matrikaa) Gast, Yogaratna 

Over New Year’s weekend at the Ashram, I immersed in my fifth Shaktipat Retreat with Gurudevi.  In the first session, Gurudevi gave Shaktipat by touch to us assembled in Lokananda.  She also gave Shaktipat by will to all attending online as well as in person.  From Gurudevi’s hands-on Shaktipat, I felt warmth in my low back.  I got even more in Gurudevi’s second session as she gave Shaktipat by will again.  I felt successive flows of warmth shooting up my spine. 

In my first Shaktipat Retreat, some years ago, I felt somewhat discombobulated afterward.  But with every Shaktipat Retreat since, my meditations have progressively deepened.  Back home now, I meditate in the morning with Gurudevi’s online Meditation Club.  Afterward, I am at ease with my thoughts.  My steady state endures throughout the day.  I meditate again later in the day as well.  And I have no concern about thoughts disturbing my inner focus. 

Each day, I go into meditation deeper and faster, sitting for the whole hour.  My meditations are golden and beautiful.  In morning Meditation Club, I surface only when Gurudevi sounds the gong to signal our closing.  My deep meditations support me in daily life.  I can do things in a spiritual way. 

Attending Shaktipat with my wife and our longtime friend, new to meditation, was a plus.  My friend works in a helping profession.  I’ve always recognized his spiritual capacity.  It was great to see him fulfilled, smiling and happy after our retreat.  Being with loved ones was beautiful! 

I am ready to keep going with this practice, and look forward to Gurudevi’s next Shaktipat Retreat.  I know that Gurudevi’s gift of Kundalini awakening will open us to inner greatness once again.  Speaking from my heart, I would like to see more of the world receive Gurudevi’s gift of Shaktipat.

By Soraya (Sudevi) Pereira, Yogaratna 

Every time I participate in a Shaktipat Retreat, Gurudevi transforms my unknowingness into knowingness. I experience Gurudevi’s light shining into a different blind spot concerning my experience of my own Self.  

My September 2022 Shaktipat Retreat was no different. During our first meditation, I experienced lots of Kundalini movements, some familiar and some new. My left shoulder felt tight and painful. Those Kundalini movements seemed to focus on my neck and shoulder area. So I wondered whether they were really Kundalini movements. Or were they simply my own attempts to address my shoulder pain? 

After that meditation session, Swami Prajñananda delivered a talk comparing our spiritual journey to a road trip. She mentioned the benefit of road signs along the way. She said Kundalini movements are road signs, as they show us the right direction. She also said that the road signs are NOT the destination itself. She urged us to not “hug the road sign thinking you have arrived. Keep going.” 

Great talk, I thought, but didn’t feel a personal connection to it ― yet. 

In my next meditation, I rested in a deep, delicious quiet. My shoulder discomfort remained. Kundalini started to move me exactly as before. However, within me at that moment was only the awareness of the sacredness of each movement. All movement was Hers. I no longer nitpicked or judged Kundalini’s movements. I no longer hugged the road sign. I experienced how awareness, my own true Self, validates and affirms the worth and sacredness of everything. 

This experience is still with me. It has drawn me closer to the mantra, swadhyaya (study of the sacred texts) and meditation. 

My gratitude to Gurudevi for shining her revelatory light and to Swami Prajñananda for prompting my recognition!