In our satsang with Swami on our first day, she described the impact of Ganeshpuri as follows: “your limited idea of who you are burns up here”.  She used a description of a process called etching as a metaphor to outline what happens.  Swami’s use of this metaphor really awakened something in me; I have been reflecting for a few days on what that might be.  Here’s what has occurred to me to date.

The process of etching typically uses acid or some other abrasive substance to imprint a pattern onto something such as a piece of metal or a piece of glass.  Something that was plain or perhaps had no further use is turned into something useful and indeed beautiful. Swami commented, “Ganeshpuri’s Grace can be like acid or like nectar.”  If I am not open to this Grace it can be like acid attacking my limited beliefs and desire to maintain the status quo.  As I open myself to Ganshpuri’s Grace, the nectar of new possibilities flows like I have never before experienced.

I see a few other connections to etching and the experience I am having.  It strikes me that, as with an artist creating a beautiful etched piece, it all starts with an idea.  My experience of Ganeshpuri is brought to life by the teachings of Swami.  She has an amazing ability to take the subtlety and beauty of the ancient teachings that we experience in Ganeshpuri and bring them to life and relevance for a North American audience.  I often marvel with the fact that many solutions that seem new and revolutionary in our society were figured out and are well documented in the ancient texts that Swami brings to life for us.

A final thought is that etching takes something that already exists and applies a technique to it, which destroys parts of what is there in order to create something new and beautiful, yet without destroying the essence of what existed before.  What the teachings of Swami do for me, coupled with Ganeshpuri’s Grace, is to allow me to merge what I learn and experience with who I already am.  I can recognize that I am, in fact, already Shiva.  Now I have an increased ability to see myself in this way.

Etching seems to destroy what already exists but in fact, it removes the limits that were there and allows the beauty and possibility of what already exists to be available now.  So does Ganeshpuri!

I have been immersed in the fire of yoga like never before! The main purpose of the sacred fire ceremony (yaj~na) was for the maintenance and protection of Svaroopa^® Vidya Ashram.  My husband Rudra (more about that later) and I had the honor of being the officiating couple, which meant we were performing the rituals on behalf of the whole group and the Ashram.

I was dressed up in a lovely bright blue and purple silk sari with bangles and jasmine in my hair (which cooled my head.)  My husband was in a traditional Indian outfit (red and gold trim) supplied by the priests, who also dressed him. Our role was to perform each small piece of the ritual.  The priests chanted while directing us step by step during the whole 6 hours of the yaj~na (with a lunch break).

We performed several pujas in the morning. Their purpose was to clear the space for our afternoon Vishnu fire ceremony.  There were 7 priests: 3 on either side of us chanting and one more who was helping us perform the ceremony.  Being in the middle of this clear strong powerful ‘surround sound’ of the priests chanting was both beautiful and mesmerizing. This role required that I stay conscious and not drop in (not easy) to perform the rituals with my husband.

The chants were intricate with small snippets of repetition, but most were all new chants through the whole day (in Sanskrit of course). I was in awe of the priest’s dedication and the study and practice it had taken for them to do this.  I had no idea what the words of the chants meant and that was a gift which allowed me to experience and feel the clearing of the chanting without my mind being involved. It felt like we were inside the chanting which made it easy to be in consciousness itself.

One part that stood out was during the puja to Vishnu. The small metal statue actually moved from the form to the formless in front of my eyes.

During the yaj~na I had to surrender and let go of my resistance to sitting for long periods of time as my body was aching and there was intense heat by the fire.  I had no choice, I just had to sit there and keep going, just like life.  I was challenged at times to stay conscious and stay seated so that I could fulfill my role in the puja.  I did fulfill it and I am so blessed because of it. And, my surrendering is truly a work in progress.

It was such a joy to share this sacred ceremony with my husband Rudra (Bob).  He asked for a Sanskrit name from Swamiji just before the yaj~na began. Rudra is a fine balance for my name, Rudrani.  Bob accepting a name brought another level to our marriage relationship of 32 years.  The yaj~na provided this new place to be and Bob’s new name is a part of that.  Vishnu brings the Divine into our daily lives through supporting the continuing of our ever growing relationship.  This whole experience will bring our relationship to another new level of growth.

I am ever grateful for this opportunity to perform this yaj~na seva for Swamiji, our ashram, our Svaroopa^® yoga community, my relationship with Rudra and my Self.

Every morning I wake up, get dressed and slowly walk the rocky streets to Nityananda’s temple. I walk alone and savor this time as I do japa, take in the pre-dawn awakening of this sweet village, and prepare for morning abhishek.

In abhishek, all my senses take in the full experience of the morning with Nityananda. I am filled with great love, gratitude and reverence for the Divinity I experience and see in each action and person. I drop in and out of meditation and experience abhishek on many levels, but the sweetest part of my morning is when I cross the street to His House.  I sit where Nityananda lived, His presence as real as if I were actually sitting at His feet. I feel the love and guidance of Swami as if I were sitting at her feet too.

How blessed I am to be in this village of masters; how blessed we all are to understand that we have this support when we sit and meditate and live our lives. Even sweeter, when you start home from work in the late afternoon, think of Ganeshpuri — this village is alive with preparing Nityananda for His day.  Close your eyes and imagine this outpouring of love honoring Nityananda and each of us. On Namah Shivaya.

It’s 9:30 pm and most of our folks are sleeping or in bed.  I am writing by the light of the computer so as not to (hopefully) keep my roommate up.  It’s weird to be typing…my fingers are not used to the keys and they are swollen as I attempt to get acclimated here, body and mind. I spent most of the hot part of the day unconscious or catching up on some sleep, so now I am wide awake!  The day ended with a sweet Satsang Swami held for the community as well as the group of us.  The theme was “How fortunate you are to live in Ganeshpuri…. How fortunate we are to be able to visit Ganeshpuri,” and imbibe in Bhagawan Nityananda’s Grace.

Imbibing his grace started this morning at 4:20 with the official wake up ceremony in the temple with the blowing of the conch shell, the drum sounds vibrating through the floor and the ringing of the bells.  Our group was the majority of the people in the temple this morning, with two others who Swami has known in the past.  One is a woman who was at Baba’s ashram with her and has been staying in Ganeshpuri for a while.  The other is a Swami whose name we love to butcher!  It’s Swami Niroopamanada but she goes by Niroopamaya (I think).  She comes here from the USA as often as possible and stays 3 months at a time.  I see her as I go visiting the temple or participate in another arati in one of the other temples in town.

This morning just as it was getting close to Arati time (6am) we heard the beautiful voices of a group of women singing outside at the Shiva temple, singing a chant to Shiva.  Swami went out to see them and she said it was lovely, especially since it is rare for women to be singing, as it is usually men doing the chanting and singing around the temples.  It was a sweet treat hearing it from inside the temple as well.

The days are so full, it feels like I am writing about last week instead of today.  We are all easing into the retreat and being helped by reminders that we are probably having jet lag as well as vata imbalance, which the travel can bring on as well as climate shock from cold winter temperatures to the 90 degree high each day.  To help us we are drinking lots and lots of water and today a bowl of ghee appeared on the dining tables to be consumed liberally!  No problem there!

I shared a sweet seva with another yogi this afternoon.  We put a handle on the peacock feathers she uses when giving darshan.  It took more than two of us, because we also had to find someone who could actually thread the needle to sew on the fabric.  Thanks to two of the men, Bob and one of the men who is helping manage the retreat, who were able to do it.  I tried for about five minutes and gave up.  So now Swami’s peacock feathers have a soft orange handle!

There was much more happening today, and for a large part of it I spent much of it “unconscious in consciousness.”  There is no better place to be in that state.  As Swami says, we are lucky to be in Ganeshpuri, very lucky!

The first full day of the Ganeshpuri Retreat 201 — I realize I have entered a time warp, where in an instant I switch between the modern world of cell phones, Wi-Fi, cars and planes to a time period of more than 5,000 years ago.

At 4:20 this morning most of our group, even many who had arrived only two hours before , were sitting on the floor in the Nityananda Temple.  Suddenly, the air was rent by a thunderous chorus of soundings from a conch shell, ringing bells, cymbals and kettle drums. What a nice way to wake up Nityananda’s bigger-than-life size, golden murti for his morning bath! A murti is an enlivened statue, and Nityananda’s “Sakti was certainly present.

For the next two hours, He was bathed with water, yogurt, milk and honey and then rinsed off so lovingly by the Temple priests and the four women guests who were honored with the opportunity to help today. With priests chanting in Sanskrit the whole time, Nityananda was bathed, dressed and adorned with garlands of flowers that we had just bought from the vendors outside. To reach Nityananda’s head when draping the garlands, the priest and guest assistants climb on a tall stool behind the murti.  At the end of the ceremony He was shining and bedecked.

What came to my mind were descriptions of the ceremonies and worship of the ancient Jews at the Temple in Jerusalem. Aside from the obvious difference that that the Jews were worshipping the formless and that the yogis are worshipping a form of the formless, all the other elements were present: priests dressed in special vestments were chanting an ancient language and waving flaming candles and firepans; musical instruments were playing; incense was being waved; offerings of flowers and food were made; and afterwards the blessed food (prasad) was distributed to the rapt crowd who had brought offerings as well as their supplications and prayers.

The prayer service in Jerusalem today is no longer the same as in ancient times; Temple sacrifices and rituals were replaced by prayer only after the Temple was destroyed 2,000 years ago. But in Ganeshpuri, the morning prayers in Nityananda’s Temple are a continuation of the same worship that existed 5,000 years ago. The two hours go quickly, and it is easy to slip in and out of meditation.  I am filled with immense gratitude.

Soon it is time to file past the murti to receive our bindi of kumkum (a red powder used to create the forehead dot), to extend our hands (right hand over left) to receive prasad, and go outside to find our sandals.  It is still dark and temporarily quiet. I return to the 21^st Century.

Each morning our group rises by 4:00 AM to attend the abhishek ceremony at Nityananda’s Mahasamadhi Temple. Afterwards on the first morning, someone asked me, “How was your experience?”  And I answered, “Overwhelming. “

During abhishek, the huge, life size, golden murti (statue) of Nityananda is woken up, bathed, dressed, and adorned with garlands of greenery and of flowers, like Hawaiian leis, by two Brahmin priests and their assistants. On this first morning of our yatra (pilgrimage), they were joined by four women. For at least an hour, all my senses were alive and enlivened by the disrobing of the golden murti, the water splashing, scrubbing with a white cream, drying each body part and each deep fold, re-robing with beautiful fabrics, incense burning, the waving of flaming ghee candles (arati), bells ringing, and drums booming.  We were invited to come forward three times during the ceremony: beforehand — to put our hands and head on the engraving of Nityananda’s feet; during — to receive from the head priest some of the bath water; and afterwards — for prasad (sacred refreshments).  My body, mind and heart vibrated to the beat of the drum and the clapping of our hands during the Jaya Jaya Arati chant to Nityananda at the end of the ceremony.  Inside and outside, Nityananda was there with me, and I was with him.  We were alive together, One.

Interestingly, I have never been a Nityananda devotee.  Now, however, I am.  He is the source, my heritage, the Guru who gave Muktananda his Self; and Muktananda who in turn gave Swamiji her Self.  Now it’s my turn — I can still feel the Guru in my Self, as my Self.  We are all The One.

Years ago I was a person who enjoyed extreme experiences — pursuing a PhD in my professional field and a university faculty position, while being a mother, wife, daughter and more.  Along the way I took up biking, running and swimming daily, loving the extreme training.  For what?

My life has always been purposeful, filled with many uplifting, strong experiences.  So here I am in Ganeshpuri India, with Swamiji and many other wonderful yogis, plus a staff of people who facilitate our daily living and practices.  I get to live all day long in the overwhelming experience of the early morning abhishek.  What a gift from Swamiji.  Thank you Swami.  All I have is gratitude and love for Swamiji and for this opportunity to live in the overwhelming experience of Ganeshpuri for two weeks.